hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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