Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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