Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
