East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize