So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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