Already got asked if we're dating
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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