Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
