chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
