I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
