He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
