we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
