I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
