Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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