idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
