I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Who died my cat blue again?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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