dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
