just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she peed on how many people?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
