I'm really into asian looking animals
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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