I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Randomize
