i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
