you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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