sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
