Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
