You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
