playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
