Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
