i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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