LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
