Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
