I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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