drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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