his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
