Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
