there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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