Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
