it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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