It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
