So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
