you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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