Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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