I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
