Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
