You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
