when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
