Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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