Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
