the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
