I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
