your parents love me but you hate me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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