she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
