Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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