I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Farmville is her only friend.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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