I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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