Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Barsexuality is the new black.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
