If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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