Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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