Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
