Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
