why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
