I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
