Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Found the puke drawer
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
