My girlfriend figured out who you are.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
