hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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